Whenever you experience a loss, your emotional responses follow their own rhythm with no set sequence. Grieving is different for each loss. You might feel deep sorrow, shock, rage, guilt, heartbreak, relief, blame, denial, or elation. All of the above, none, or just some.
Whatever you feel, whenever these emotions arise, welcome them as teachers. Grief takes its own time, and each new wave is a another chance to let go and integrate another aspect of that loss.
Rumi, a 12th century Sufi mystic, has expressed it so well in The Guest House, here translated by Coleman Barks. We can make a space inside of us that is expansive enough to hold it all.
THE GUEST HOUSE
This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice.
meet them at the door laughing and invite them in.
Be grateful for whatever comes.
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.
Contact me if you’d like some company and guidance with your losses. I can support you to be with your emotions, as they move through your physical and energy bodies. We can also use movement and creative processes to allow the emotions to get unstuck.