guiding you through grief, loss, and new life

Notes from the heart of Grief

I had the great privilege of sitting with some brave souls in the recent Yoga and EFT for Grief Relief workshop.  Since I live for discovery and awakening, I want to share their brilliant AHAs.

LETTING GO OF THE GRIEF SEEMS DISLOYAL.  This arose as a common fear as we dove into releasing layers of the emotional, physical, mental aspects of loss.

When we lose someone, part of us can easily latch on to our memories and mementos as a way to keep that person with us.  Likewise, part of us may want to keep the emotional, physical, and mental pain of the loss to stay  loyal to their memory.  To this part of us, letting go of the suffering means abandoning or betraying the departed.

This provides a quandary to those intent on healing in the present.

Staying close to our suffering is appropriate for a certain time, to be determined by each person’s unique grief journey.  But to integrate the loss, one has to let go in layers.  It may be useful to carry our dearly departed in our hearts, enlist them as our angels, and to live out the best in them and the best in ourselves.

I personally think my Ancestors want me to be happy, to love more, to live more, to learn more.  I want to honor them by living a good life, fed by their positive influence.

What do YOU find to be true with your losses?  When is it right and true to keep your suffering close?  When is it right to let go?


IF I GIVE UP MY PHYSICAL PAIN, I’LL HAVE TO DEAL WITH THE UNDERLYING EMOTIONAL STUFF.  This aha moment came to a wise woman willing to take responsibility for it all.  She seemed determined to go directly to the source and look at her emotional life.

How are YOU doing with making space for all your emotions?


ALL THESE EMOTIONS AND BELIEFS ARE NOT EVEN MINE!  One insightful gentleman had this illumination, realizing he was carrying his family’s beliefs and thoughts around his grief.  It takes great discernment to know what is truly ours and part of our own process, and to jettison what does not serve because it’s not authentic to us.

How are YOU letting go of what doesn’t serve you?


I’d love to hear how these AHAs land with you and your process of letting go.

Blessings, Carol


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Healing Quotes

“It’s time again. Tear up the violets and plant something more difficult to grow.”

– James Schuyler

“In order to be a good warrior, one has to feel this sad and tender heart.”

– Chogyam Trungpa

“Your absence has gone through me like thread through a needle. Everything I do is stitched with its color.”

– W. S. Merwin

“Don’t run away from grief, o soul
Look for the remedy inside the pain.
Because the rose came from the thorn
And the ruby came from a stone.”

– Rumi

“We are the facilitators of our own creative evolution.”

– Bill Hicks

“Now is the moment, Here is the place of Liberation.”

– Alex Grey

“Everything in life that we really accept undergoes a change. So suffering must become love. That is the mystery.”

– Katherine Mansfield

“The absolute tranquility is the present moment. Though it is at this moment, there is no limit to this moment, and therein is eternal delight.”

– Hui-Neng

“Human beings are not born once and for all on the day their mothers give birth to them…life obliges them over and over again to give birth to themselves.”

– Gabriel Garcia Marquez

“Our only security is our ability to change.”

– John Lilly

“The big question is whether you are going to be able to say a hearty YES to your adventure.”

– Joseph Campbell

“The next message you need is always right where you are.”

– Ram Dass

“We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.”

– E. M. Forster

“There is deep wisdom within our very flesh, if we can only come to our senses and feel it.”

– Elizabeth A. Behnke

“Joy moves always to new locations,
the ease of its flow never freezing.
A long winter’s tale is over. Now
with each spring day, a new story.”

– Rumi

“Grief is not a task to finish,
And move on,
But an element of yourself –
An alteration of your being.
A new way of seeing,
A new definition of self.”

– Barb Mather