Grief: 3 Lessons
I had the great privilege of sitting with some brave souls in a Yoga and EFT for Grief Relief workshop that I led with Ken Breniman years ago. Since I live for discovery and awakening, I want to share 3 brilliant AHAs that came from the group.
LETTING GO OF THE GRIEF SEEMS DISLOYAL.
This arose as a common fear as we dove into releasing layers of the emotional, physical, mental aspects of loss.
When we lose someone, part of us can naturally latch on to our memories and mementos as a way to keep that person with us. Likewise, part of us may want to keep the emotional, physical, and mental pain of the loss to stay loyal to their memory. To this part of us, letting go of the suffering means abandoning or betraying the departed.
This provides a quandary to those intent on healing in the present.
Staying close to our suffering is appropriate for a certain time, to be determined by each person’s unique grief journey. But to integrate the loss, one has to let go in layers. It may be useful to carry our dearly departed in our hearts, enlist them as our angels, and to live out the best in them and the best in ourselves.
I personally think my Ancestors want me to be happy, to love more, to live more, to learn more. I want to honor them by living a good life, fed by their positive influence.
What do YOU find to be true with your losses? When is it right and true to keep your suffering close? When is it right to let go?
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IF I GIVE UP MY PHYSICAL PAIN, I’LL HAVE TO DEAL WITH THE UNDERLYING EMOTIONAL STUFF.
This aha moment came to a wise woman willing to take responsibility for it all. She was experiencing her grief as physical discomfort, as that is often how our inner process gets our attention. Instead of choosing to remain on the physical level, she realized she could stop distancing herself from the more difficult emotional turmoil below. She now seemed determined to go directly to the source and look at her emotional life.
How are YOU doing with making space for all your emotions?
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ALL THESE EMOTIONS AND BELIEFS ARE NOT EVEN MINE!
One insightful gentleman had this illumination, realizing he was carrying his family’s beliefs and thoughts around his grief. It takes great discernment to know what is truly ours and part of our own process, and to jettison what does not serve because it’s not authentic to us. And to gracefully make space for others to have their own experiences.
How are YOU letting go of what doesn’t serve you?
