Journaling: Parts Work
Recently on Instagram Live, I led a mini-session on Parts Work with my colleague and friend Meg of The Yoga Brain.* We dipped into attending to Something in her that wants to do X and another Something in her that doesn’t want to do X.
It was a great start for her to spend time dialoguing and journaling with each of these Parts individually, learning what they each want and need, what gifts they bring, without making either of them change.
An important part is finding out what the Parts don’t want to happen, what they’re concerned about, what they fear will happen. Ultimately, this is a process of bringing the Parts into the Whole, contributing their perspectives to organically finding a new way forward.
*Watch the whole process here. Mercury Retrograde gave us a slow start, so be patient, it gets really good!
INTRO TO PARTS WORK:
We each contain multitudes. When you are content and at peace, all the inner Parts that make you who you are can move forward together. But it’s common to get stuck in ambivalence, confusion, or just not feeling that wholehearted YES. A Part can get triggered and be reactive, a Part can speak to you in physical symptoms, a Part has the power to grind things to a halt.
When inner Parts are at odds, Something in you wants to do X and another Something in you doesn’t want to do X. All points are valid, and each Part just wants to be seen and heard.
That’s where Presence comes in. By stepping into Presence or Wholeness, the most wise and compassionate and neutral witness Self, you can turn attention to an inner Part without being merged with it. Now you can be in a witness relationship with it.
Healing means integrating lost, exiled, or forgotten inner Parts that need our loving awareness and incorporating them into the greater Whole of who we are.
You’ll be spending time with a Part in a self-guided meditation, then you can pause and journal to get down what it’s sharing. You can go back and forth between your inner conversation of Presence with a Part and journaling.
PREPARATION TO CALM & CENTER YOURSELF
BREATHE: with two fingers on the collar bone notch and two fingers on the chin, breathe in through the nose and out through the mouth. 7 slow breaths. This shifts you to parasympathetic mode, relaxed and focused.
SHIFT TO HOLISTIC, MEDITATIVE, INTUITIVE MIND: bring awareness from the forehead and analytic mind and back to the center of the head, between the ears. This is where all the sensory nerves bring information for holistic thinking.
IMAGINE / INTEND A WARM WATERFALL WASH OF PEARLESCENT GOLD ENERGY over and through your body and throughout the whole room you’re in. This is the color vibration of neutral, clean, present time energy.
GROUND: send roots down from your tailbone and the soles of your feet deep into the Earth. Let go of anything you don’t need through the roots, and Earth will recycle that energy.
BASIC STEPS:
1. STEP INTO PRESENCE. First, remember your true nature is Presence or Wholeness, big enough to hold all of your Parts. Step into and embody your most compassionate, calm, and clear witness. Remember when you were fully present, really there for yourself, for a friend, for your kid, for an inner kid. Note how that feels in the body.
2. IDENTIFY A PART THAT WANTS TO DO X, AND A PART THAT DOESN’T WANT TO DO X. In Presence, you can turn to a Part or Something in you that needs your attention. Find it by scanning for a somatic sensation, a place in the body or near the body where it resides. Note its body posture, emotional tone, and its age. Inner Parts may often show up as younger selves that got stuck in a pattern and stuck in time and didn't get brought along with the grown up Whole.
When a Part is desperate to be seen and heard, Presence can have the experience of someone grabbing the steering wheel. If you are anything but neutral, open, and curious about a Part, you are merged with it or merged with another Part, mistakenly thinking you are in Presence or Wholeness. Get back into Presence.
Find both Parts and differentiate between them by body sensation and feeling tone. Know which one you’re witnessing.
3. FIRST TURN TO THE PART THAT DOESN’T WANT TO DO X. Presence says hello and “I get that you don’t want to do X. Tell me more.” Listen deeply to what the Part needs and wants, and what It brings as gifts to the Whole. Reflect back what It’s telling you. Note how It feels being truly witnessed.
What is this Part most afraid will happen if you do X? What are Its actions trying to prevent? Reflect back what It’s telling you.
And ask what It needs to stay with you as part of the Whole. If you can give it, do so now, or commit to doing so.
If it’s a young Part that got stuck in time, it may need to know that you are all grown up. It can let go of any adult responsibilities It’s taken on because it thought It had to. Its job as a kid is just to play, explore, be free, and hold the spark. This is the time for reparenting and bringing the younger inner Part along with you.
Thank this Part and let It know you’ll be back.
4. THEN TURN TO THE PART THAT WANTS TO DO X. Clear a space and repeat the deep listening, witnessing, and reflecting back what you understand of this Part’s perspective. Reflecting what you sense It’s wanting, why it wants to do X, what it wants for you.
What is It concerned will happen if you don’t do X?
Be curious if doing X is the only way It can fulfill that wanting.
What does it need to stay with you as part of the Whole? If you can give it, do so now, or commit to doing so. Thank this Part and let it know you’ll be back.
This might be it. Sometimes just really understanding these Parts that are at odds brings a shift or makes more breathing room for forward motion. But if you want to continue, try this:
6. FIND A NEW WAY FORWARD. Turn to the Part that didn’t want to do X. Ask if there’s a way to do X that would satisfy It. Maybe there’s some condition, quality of being, or contingency to be met that would allow It to participate in doing X.
Or maybe doing X is not exactly the right thing to do. Maybe the Part that wanted to do X has other ideas of how to fulfill the want.
In Presence, you can do this shuttle diplomacy. Don’t side with any one Part, don’t try to change any Part, don’t make any Part wrong. This space of deep listening and witnessing makes breathing room for creative possibilities to open up.
From Presence, commit to offering what's needed and really do it! Show up for these Parts, and they will continue to integrate into the Whole you, and then you can move forward more wholeheartedly.
7. STAY IN RELATIONSHIP. Know that this is not a once and done process. You in Presence are building relationship with each of the Parts. They may request specific commitments for further witnessing sessions. Trust that you can return to this process for any ambivalence or inner conflict that arises.
Let me know how it goes!
